Will the universe as we know it end tomorrow? Quite possibly so says noted time travel expert and avid comic book collector Linford Buzzard. People are wondering why someone would even consider this to be a possibility. It’s simple, explains Linford, the laws of time travel state that meeting yourself at any point in time can tear the very fabric of time itself, and just such an occurrence will take place at McAfee Coliseum when the Philadelphia Phillies and the Oakland Athletics take the field. It is at this time that Pat Burrell will come face to face with his Bizarro double, Jack Cust. Jack Cust wears the jersey number 32; Burrell, as you know wears 3 plus 2.  Both of these ball players are clearly the same person. Both are just over 6 feet tall. Both weight right around 230 pounds. Both were born in the mid to late 70’s in the eastern United States. Both made their major league debut in the early 2000’s. Neither of them has any stolen bases this year. Both are atop the leader boards for both walks AND strikeouts; two stats that do not generally go hand in hand. Both, when they make contact, will hit the ball well out of any ball park. And both have been looked over for MVP awards in their respective leagues. This evidence solidifies the argument that Burrell and Cust are one in the same, but as for the fabric of time disintegrating… We’ll just have to wait and see.