It is a sad day here at the Burrell for MVP campaign headquarters. Sure, we had been prepared for Pat not making the All-Star game, but it still hurts when it happens. The saddest thing of all is that the whole final fan vote was clearly a beauty contest. During the voting period, Pat stepped up his game and put up the numbers that should have impressed the voters. This included a mightily impressive 10-game hitting streak during which he batted .371 (13-for-35) with three homers (including one of off Pedro Martinez) and five RBIs. He also reached base safely in 15 consecutive games.

As a licensed hetero, I’m very willing to admit that Pat is quite attractive himself. The problem is that he is a real man’s man. It is well known that firemen and lumberjacks, the core of Pat’s fans, do not have solid Internet connections. Meanwhile, teenage girls with posters of Abercrombie models David Wright and Corey Hart have broadband Internet, tons of time to lol and omg, and a rich daddy to pay for their text message votes. The only chance Pat had was if Major League Baseball had approved his request to play this week’s games without his shirt on. Those damned purists obviously did not.

Pat does still have one last gasp in his All-Star bid. He can be chosen to replace the injured Alfonso Soriano by NL Manager Clint Hurdle.