Try to imagine yourself as a major league rookie. You’re a starting pitcher, in your fourth career start, playing the Phillies, your arch league rival. Imagine you’ve just breezed through the first inning. Your stuff is electric. Your fastball is burning up the radar gun and your curve is even making [...]

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A good leader always keeps his head held high. A great leader plays just as hard in desperate times as he does in joyous times. An MVP candidate, which no one in the NL but Pat Burrell can claim to be, excels during the darkest hours of the darkest night.
When I claim that [...]

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Tuesday’s game is over, and existence still exists, yet Jack Cust and Pat Burrell, who we proved are the same person, met face to face. How can this be? Are the statements about meeting yourself at a point in time and time ceasing to exist untrue? Further evidence was even given at [...]

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Will the universe as we know it end tomorrow? Quite possibly so says noted time travel expert and avid comic book collector Linford Buzzard. People are wondering why someone would even consider this to be a possibility. It’s simple, explains Linford, the laws of time travel state that meeting [...]

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Pat rips another hit and the crowd goes nuts. But then, the murmurs and whispers start. “Where did Pat go? Didn’t he just get a hit? What the heck is going on?” Confusion reigns, but at long last a solitary, observant fan stands up, points, and shouts, “There he is! [...]

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How boring has it become to watch Pat come up with game winning RBIs? His heroics are now so utterly mundane, repetitive, ordinary that they aren’t even reported on this website. June 1, eager to get the month started right, Pat delivers a deadly two-out two-run double against the Marlins, aka the “Fish”, [...]

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Quick Update!
Burrell has 2 HR’s in the past two games… Look out! He’s on his way back!

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Thursday, May 22nd
Let’s face it, Pat Burrell hasn’t been hitting too well through May.  The greatness of Pat Burrell cannot be denied so this “slump” puzzles many fans.  Why question it though?  Pat Burrell works in mysterious ways.
In Philadelphia’s first game of the Astros series, Pat allowed Greg Dobbs to play left field.  “Greg’s a [...]

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It was a pitcher’s night in DC Town
Making each batter look like a clown
Hamels and Bergmann thrown’ the cheese
making those swingers weak in the knees
except for one, who came to bat
it was of course, the mighty Pat
with no fear, and sly like a fox
burrell stood in the batter’s box
he took the pitch one, two, three
and [...]

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Yes We’ve been slacking on the updates. I apologize to Mr Burrell for that.
Pat the Bat has had a slow month of may. Not horrendous, his average sits at .298, but much quieter then then the month of April.
I have a theory… the Rain… There has been alot of rain this month and I think [...]

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